Version 2.0
Legal Notice
Original lyrics are copyright © 2015-20 by Jerry James. All other lyrics are covered by their original copyrights. I have attempted to identify the copyright holders and the effective dates of the copyrights, as noted below. If my information is incorrect, please let me know and I will fix the attributions.
I do not grant permission to redistribute the contents of this page. When people start passing this kind of thing around via email, some schmuck invariably decides to “improve” the content. (That’s what happened to Gene Ziegler’s poem, “A Grandchild’s Guide to Using Grandpa’s Computer”.) Also, I’m a software developer. That means that anything I write is liable to be updated to a later version some day. So if you want to share any of this content, just pass around the URL, not the actual content. That way everybody gets to see the latest version, and I don’t have to track down somebody who ruined my work in the name of improving it.
You can send me suggestions for improvements and additions if you like, but if your suggestion consists of more than a few words, I won’t be able to use it. Otherwise, we’d wind up with multiple copyright holders, and I just don’t want to deal with that. Sorry.
Contents
Propane
Sung to the tune of “Cocaine” (copyright © 1977 by Eric Clapton).
If you want to blow out,
You’ve got to let her out,
Propane.
If you wanna get high,
High in the sky,
Propane.
Chorus:
You can fry, if you try, so can I.
Propane.
If you don’t want the stew,
You want some barbecue,
Propane.
When that glow like the sun,
Comes from your tank, then run!
Propane.
(Chorus)
If your house is gone,
But you want to grill on,
Propane.
Don’t inhale it please,
Or you’ll get weak in the knees,
Propane.
(Chorus)
Born to be Mild
Sung to the tune of “Born to be Wild” (copyright © 1968 by Steppenwolf).
Get your pencils warmed up,
Get out your paper pile.
Gettin’ ready for a work day.
I hope the boss will smile.
Yeah, darlin’, gotta get my paycheck,
Minus taxes and other stuff.
Share some gossip at the water cooler.
Man, we’ve got it rough.
I like bringing lunches,
To save a little money,
And parking in the basement,
‘Cause it’s too hot when it’s sunny.
Yeah, darlin’, gotta get my paycheck,
Minus taxes and other stuff.
Share some gossip at the water cooler.
Man, we’ve got it rough.
Like a true corporate child,
We were born, born to be mild.
Our profits are high,
I’ve got some stock to buy.
Born to be mild.
Born to be mild.
New GPU
Sung to the tune of “New Attitude” (copyright © 1984 by Patti LaBelle).
Running hot, never cold,
My graphics card was in overload.
It was extreme!
The voltage was high, too high
So high that it started to fry
Like a bad dream.
Somehow the wires were crossed,
Transistors were burned.
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn.
UPS brought me something that's new.
Know what it is and I know what to do.
I've tidied up all the carbonized goo.
I've got a new GPU!
I'm in control. My worries are few.
I've got ray tracing like I never knew.
Oo oo oo oo oo
I've got a new GPU!
I am running a new game, new foes
Brand new VRAM gives me tingling toes.
This change is good.
Look at all these cool sights,
New card, sharp pixels.
Are you jealous of me?
You'd get one too if you could.
Somehow the wires were crossed,
Transistors were burned.
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn.
UPS brought me something that's new.
Know what it is and I know what to do.
I've tidied up all the carbonized goo.
I've got a new GPU!
I'm in control. My worries are few.
I've got ray tracing like I never knew.
Oo oo oo oo oo
I've got a new GPU!
Oo oo oo oo oo
Somehow the wires were crossed,
Transistors were burned.
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn.
UPS brought me something that's new.
Know what it is and I know what to do.
I've tidied up all the carbonized goo.
I've got a new GPU!
I'm in control. My worries are few.
I've got ray tracing like I never knew.
Oo oo oo oo oo
I've got a new GPU!
Oo oo oo oo oo
Oo oo oo oo oo
Ray tracing like I never knew.
I've got a new GPU!
Oo oo oo oo oo
New GPU!